Success on Your Terms
I recently thought that the back wall of my office – which is, of course, the frame for Zoom meetings – was looking woefully sparse. Sure, it has the requisite credentials demonstrating competency of a financial planner. But my clients know that stuff already, and showcasing diplomas and certificates isn’t particularly exciting or meaningful to me. And so, I set upon the task of identifying a piece of art that might express something beyond paper and old fonts.
Hours of perusing gorgeous landscape photos of places to which our family feels a deep connection – ranging from Mt. Bachelor and the Cascade Lakes of Central Oregon, the idyllic hamlet of Bend, and the Columbia River Gorge – followed. Alas, I never could land on a sufficiently compelling image to make the purchase. Nothing I came across was ‘it,’ for lack of a better term.
Then, one morning with a very light snow falling, our three-year-old daughter set to the task of a painting project. I listened as she talked about the blues and greens and oranges that would become her masterpiece. We discussed how a painting may never feel (and may never actually be) finished. That we work on things, often coming back to them over days and weeks and even months to refine, iterate, and make our vision a reality.
Of course, these concepts to a toddler were simply daddy talking a lot again (thankfully, she is a talker, too). And that’s okay, because tomorrow she will pick up where she left off and continue the journey of her painting. The learning won’t happen through my words, but rather through the experience.
As I watched our threenager pause from the project, reflect on what she had created out of a blank white canvas, and experience a wave of happiness, satisfaction, and accomplishment, I was struck by the lesson she had just shared with me about defining what success means. The metaphor is not lost or changed simply because we grew up into responsible, mortgage-paying, adults – perhaps even becoming the parents who ‘just don’t understand’ as Will Smith poignantly said many years ago. Success – and what it means to be successful – is wholly and completely yours to define. You decide the terms.
Uncovering and defining success, however, isn’t as simple as it was when we’d only had three birthday parties under our belts. It’s more complicated. The tradeoffs are bigger, and there is no one single thing offering that full and complete feeling of accomplishment. Because of this, a core aspect of real financial planning involves serious exploration of what success means, helping to define the terms for each individual and family.
In a practical sense, we label success with words like ‘goals’ and ‘objectives.’ These are the targets that guide our actions and decisions, a desired future version of ourselves and our lives. Sometimes these goals take a quantitative form. For example, they might sound something like:
I’d like to grow my net worth to $4,000,000.
I want to buy a vacation home on the Oregon Coast.
I’m hoping to be promoted to senior director.
I want to tax-efficiently sell a large amount of my company stock.
These are, of course, examples of the end result of success. There is, however, something that takes place before fortifying our goals. We must ask ourselves, why is this a goal? Why do I want a net worth of $4,000,000, a vacation home, to earn the promotion to senior director, or tax-efficiently sell a large amount of company stock?
The goal is transformed when we step back and ask ourselves: What kind of life do we want to lead that is inspiring us toward these goals?”
“I’d like to grow my net worth to $4,000,000” becomes “I want work to be optional for me so I can be more present with my family.”
“I want to buy a vacation home at the Oregon Coast” becomes “I want to own a space that allows irreplaceable memories to be made.”
“I’m hoping to be promoted to senior director” becomes “I want to be recognized for my unique contributions and talents.”
“I want to tax-efficiently sell a large amount of my company stock” becomes “I want to have the flexibility to take another opportunity (or leave the industry altogether).”
For me, success means:
Working on things that have 1) a life-changing impact for families 2) with whom partnering brings joy.
Being in a constant state of learning and growing.
Using the freedom of owning an independent practice to perpetually (and perhaps obsessively) innovate.
Creating a practice that allows our family to achieve its dreams by helping other families achieve theirs.
These are, to my mind, the definitions of professional success. Unsurprisingly, they’ve become the values that serve as the pillars of my business.
As the years march on, there will – naturally – be countless other paintings created by this light of our life. And, on occasion, I may ask her which one she likes most and switch out her current favorite. When getting work done on each video call, I will be reminded of what success means to our family. I hope you have a reminder on your wall as well.